


This lifetime

by FadedRiddler



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FadedRiddler/pseuds/FadedRiddler
Summary: Rosa Diaz has been in love with Gina Linetti for years. Except now Gina's with someone else and has a baby.
Relationships: Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)/Gina Linetti
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	1. A free woman

Pimento never came to visit her in prison. 

Not that she cared. Marcus had been opposite her - emotional, caring - and Adrian was violent and crazy. She had found him hot at first, but she quickly realized they had nothing to talk about. All he wanted to do was "lick the skin right off her face", which was _not_ as hot as he was probably going for. 

No, it was definitely better that he never came to see her when she was behind bars. Rosa wasn't sure that she could stand listening to him describe explicitly what he wanted to do to her and prayed that he never showed on visiting day. Instead, she hoped that someone else would come. 

She had never wanted to see someone as bad as she wanted to see Gina Linetti when she was in prison. 

But Gina had a baby now. A fact that she hadn't mentioned to Rosa, a fact that Rosa found out when Charles came to see her. She had felt her stomach drop when she heard the news, felt a cold feeling run through her body. Gina was with someone else and hadn't even told her. Rosa knew that she never really had a chance when it came to Gina Linetti, but now that she had a baby, it seemed final. 

Even though Rosa had been in love with Gina for years, she could never have her. 

***

"When I broke up with Adrian, I was the most relieved I've felt in awhile. I was hell bent on catching him cheating because I wanted him to be," Rosa says to Terry and Amy in the break room after she had falsely accused Pimento of cheating on her. When he explained that he was learning Spanish to impress her father, she had felt so disappointed, and that's when she knew. 

That's when she knew that she was still in love with Gina Linetti. 

"Well then, you know what you have to do," Amy replies and Rosa nods. She struts downstairs, hops on her bike, and heads straight for Gina's apartment. 

The door swings open right after Rosa's first knock and Rosa can't help but smile at Gina. The dark circles under her eyes stand out against her pale skin and her long, auburn hair is ratted and tangled, but she still looks beautiful. 

As if Gina Linetti would ever look anything less than perfect, even after just giving birth. 

"Hey, girl!" Gina exclaims and pulls her in for a hug. Rosa usually hates people touching her, but there's something about how safe and warm she feels when it's Gina. She wraps her arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent of cinnamon. She instantly misses her when Gina steps out of the embrace. "Sorry I wasn't there when you guys got back from prison. Enigma was having a really rough night," she says, leading Rosa into the living room. 

"Enigma?" Rosa repeats. Gina smiles proudly and waves her hand to the crib in the middle of the room. Rosa approaches it tentatively and can't help the corners of her mouth from quirking up. The baby is adorable and Rosa can see the resemblance to her mother in her eyes and the color of her hair.

"Iggy for short. Milton and I thought it was perfect. Do you want to hold her?" Before Rosa can protest, Gina's picking up her baby and placing her into Rosa's arms. Enigma coos and plays with Rosa's dark hair. "She likes you," Gina says, beaming as if the only thing that matters is Enigma liking her. 

"She's cute," Rosa mumbles, bouncing her up and down while the baby giggles. How can she be bitter about Gina never loving her back when Gina's obviously very happy with Enigma and Milton? Gina deserves to be happy.

"Well, what else would you expect from _this_ ," Gina says, motioning down her body. And Rosa laughs, her first real laugh since before she went to prison. "So, how are you? How was prison? Was it anything like _Orange is the New Black?"_

Rosa rolls her eyes. Of course Gina would ask that. "It was actually really terrifying. Everyone in there hated cops, some of the prisoners I'd even helped arrest. There were some days were I was sure that they were going to kill me," she answers, shuddering at the memories. It's going to be awhile before her time locked up stops haunting her. Gina puts an hand on her shoulder and Rosa meets her eyes. 

"There's no way they would've been able to kill you. You're a badass, Rosa Diaz," Gina tells her earnestly, and this time when Rosa shivers, it's for a completely different reason, the reason being the way that Gina says her name. 

Rosa shrugs innocently. "I mean, I did beat up one girl and got a week of solitary. That was my first day there. At least when I was in solitary I didn't have to worry about fending for my life. That's pretty much the whole reason I got into so many fights. That, and I am just a badass." She and Gina share a smirk. 

"I'm glad you're back," Gina says softly, and Rosa can tell she means it so she averts her eyes to Enigma in order to avoid looking at Gina and sees that she's sleeping with her thumb in her mouth. "And now that you're a free woman, what do you say we watch some _Gilmore Girls_?" 

Rosa nods enthusiastically and puts the sleeping baby back in her crib. Gina turns the television on and lowers the volume as to not wake Enigma. They're sitting right next to each other and Rosa can feel the heat from Gina's thigh on her own. 

And then Rosa asks the one question that's been on her mind ever since she found out who Gina's baby daddy was. 

"So, you and Milton Boyle, huh?" She feels rather than sees Gina grimace. Rosa's eyes are trained on the TV when Gina turns to her. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but then Enigma happened so we're together now," Gina tells her and Rosa nods her head, pretending to understand. But she doesn't, because she was sure it'd be a cold day in hell before Gina Linetti got together with a Boyle. Especially after Charles, especially after technically being part of the Boyle family herself. Gina had complained about all the Boyle cousins to her dozens of times, and now here she was, raising a child with one of them. 

So maybe she is a little bitter after all. 

"So you're together just for the child?" Rosa doesn't know what she wants the answer to be. 

Gina frowns. "Milton is really great. He loves to dance, he loves me, he just gets me. I know it's very surprising that he's a Boyle, but you wouldn't even know it! You should meet him, I'm sure you'd like him." That's the last thing Rosa wants. 

"Yeah, maybe," Rosa says dismissively, staring harder at the show. If Gina notices that something's off, she surely doesn't ask about it. Rosa misses the old days, the days where it was her and Gina against the precinct, making fun of Amy and arguing about pies. Now Rosa just got out of prison and Gina's a mother. How the tables have turned. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Gina asks and Rosa hears the concern in her voice. She takes a deep breath and unclenches her jaw, not even realizing how hard she was gritting her teeth together. 

"Yeah, it's just memories," she answers vaguely. Gina purses her lips and gently touches her hand. While Gina being in control turns Rosa on beyond belief, this soft side of her makes Rosa feel loved. And it's fucking painful because she knows that Gina will never love her back. 

Yet she's the only one she knows who's seen this side of her. _Of course, she's probably always like this with Milton,_ Rosa thinks sardonically. 

"If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm happy to hook you up with my spiritual advisor," Gina offers seriously, and Rosa snorts. This is the Gina that she missed so much in prison. "She's great, she knows everything. And if anyone at the precinct says you should talk to a psychologist, don't do it. Psychologists are -"

"- just people who weren't smart enough to be psychics," Rosa finishes for her and Gina looks pleased. She remembers Gina saying this, remembers making fun of Gina's psychic Carlene. It was so long ago, so much has changed. 

She wants everything to go back to how it was. She wants her Gina back, wants Milton Boyle to have never come anywhere near her. But this is a purely selfish thought, and Rosa instantly feels bad. Gina is happy and that's all that matters. 

Rosa would go back to prison in a heartbeat if it meant Gina would be glowing like this forever. But she doesn't think she needs to go back to prison for that to happen, for Enigma and Milton seem to be doing a great job making Gina happy right now. 

"I should probably get going," Rosa says once the episode's over. Gina pouts and Rosa wants to suck her bottom lip between her teeth and bite, wants to hear Gina moan her name hotly. But these thoughts are forbidden. So Rosa just sternly looks at her and Gina finally gives in with a huff and walks her to the front door. 

"I'll see you soon?" Gina asks, sounding hopeful. Or is Rosa just hearing what she wants to hear? 

"Yeah, I'll see you when you come back to work," Rosa replies. This time, she's sure she sees disappointment in Gina's eyes. 

"Or if you're ever in the neighborhood. Don't be afraid to stop by, I'm sure Enigma would love it." Rosa snorts again and gives a _girl, please_ look to Gina, who rolls her eyes with a grin. "Okay, fine, I'd love it too. And Rosa, if you ever need someone to talk to -"

"- talk to your spiritual advisor?" 

"No, talk to me, you idiot," Gina scolds and playfully slaps Rosa's arm. Rosa stiffens and almost punches her before she remembers where she is, who she's with. She's not in prison anymore, she's safe. Gina seems to pick up on her own mistake immediately, because she's apologizes profusely to Rosa. 

"Gina, it's really okay, everything's fine. I'll try to stop by if I can," Rosa tells her, but she can still see that Gina feels bad. "Maybe I'll bring something by for Enigma."

"As long as it's not a knife," Gina says and Rosa rolls her eyes. 

"I know not to get a baby a knife. Babies need to learn how to work with throwing stars first." Gina glares at her. "Okay, fine. I'll get her a nice baby toy. I'll even text you a picture of what it is before I buy it." 

Gina seems satisfied with this and gives her another hug. When she pulls away, Rosa swears that she feels Gina's lips brushing her cheek. 

"Bye," Gina says with a wink, and then she's closing the door behind her. Leaving Rosa all alone in the hallway, the biggest grin on her face. 


	2. Nightmares

Rosa’s the first to know when Milton asks Gina to marry him. Rosa wishes she wasn’t told, wishes the answer that Gina repeated to her while holding up her left hand was different. Rosa does have to give Milton some credit - the ring is gorgeous. 

”I’m really happy for you,” Rosa tells her in her normal, calm, neutral voice and if Gina picks up on the bitterness in her eyes, she certainly doesn’t mention it. 

”Thanks, Rosa. It’s like for the first time in my life, someone actually understands me. I’ve finally met another human form of the 100 emoji,” Gina gushes, and this stings Rosa more than she’s willing to admit. They are so different from each other yet so alike and Rosa feels like she understands her too. 

”That’s great. I should get back to work,” Rosa says, picking up a pile of papers and walking over to Jake’s desk. “Whatcha working on, Peralta?” 

”Oh, just this case about an arson. Everyone thinks this guy burned down the place for the money, but something’s just not adding up,” Jake says, rifling through the case file on his desk. 

”You need any help?” Rosa offers, mainly so she has something to do instead of think of Gina. 

”Sorry, Amy already said she’d help me. Plus you probably have tons of cases to work on.” 

Rosa frowns. “Holt hasn’t given me anything new. I’m still on desk duty. I don’t completely feel ready yet.” Jake nods in understanding. “But I’m happy to look through your leads and see if I can figure anything out?” 

Jake laughs and hands her the file. Rosa thanks him and heads back to her desk, not even sparing a look to the redhead who’s watching her. 

”Are you mad at me or something?” Gina asks, slamming her hand down on top of the papers that Rosa’s reading. Rosa doesn’t even flinch, she just looks up with a glare. But Gina’s not scared of her, Gina’s never been scared of her. She’s the only one in the precinct who doesn’t run away in fear when Rosa looks at them like this. 

”No.” 

“Come on, Rosie, what’s up?” Rosa scowls at the nickname and tugs the file from underneath Gina’s hand. 

”Nothing. I’m fine. I have a lot of work to do. And don’t call me Rosie.” 

”Okay, Rosie. Look, Holt said we need to be patient with you and Jake because you just got out of prison, but I think you’re lying. You’re still on desk duty and you don’t want to go back in the field yet. So how could you have a lot of work to do?” Gina’s look is triumphant and Rosa wants to climb under her desk. 

”Jake asked me to take a look at his case, see if I notice anything.” 

”Oh, really? Because I heard you just practically beg him to look at it. What’s going on, Rosa? I thought we were best friends,” Gina says and Rosa clenches her teeth. “It just seems like every time I mention Milton, you get really closed off.” 

And fuck, Gina’s too close to finding out how she feels. “I’m a closed off person,” Rosa replies smoothly and Gina shakes her head, peering curiously at her. Rosa’s heart beats faster, it’s only a matter of time before Gina realizes what’s really happening. 

”Oh, Rosa,” Gina breathes and Rosa has to fight the urge to run away. She’s not good with feelings, she doesn’t want to hear Gina try to let her down easy. “Is this because you broke up with Adrian?” 

Rosa freezes. “Yes, that’s exactly what this is about. Not anything else, it’s about Pimento.” The words sound hollow, but Gina places her hands on Rosa’s cheeks and Rosa wants to kiss her so bad. 

”Why didn’t you just say something? After work, come over and we can talk about it.” Before Rosa can protest, Gina sashays away but not before insulting Scully to his face and Rosa can’t help but smile. Gone are the days where Gina would prop herself up on Rosa’s desk and they would judge everyone together, but every once in awhile, Rosa can still see a hint of the old Gina. 

And that is enough to make her hope that she still has a chance. 

But Rosa has always been more of a pessimist. 

***

The door swings open and Rosa steps back into Gina’s apartment and smells pasta cooking. Gina still looks very tired, like she’s the only one raising Enigma. 

”Is Milton here?” Rosa asks. She hasn’t met him yet and doesn’t think she will ever be able to. 

”No, I told him that you were coming over and that he needed to leave. He wasn’t too happy but I didn’t care.” Rosa smirks despite herself at Gina’s attitude. 

”How’s the baby?” 

Gina points to the living room and then starts to stir the pasta, so Rosa goes to check on her. She’s happily playing with two stuffed animals and Rosa realizes that she forgot to buy her something. 

”Hey, Enigma,” Rosa says awkwardly. She’s never been too fond of babies and she definitely doesn’t know how to talk to one. But luckily the baby just laughs and holds her arms in the air, jumping up and down. ”You want me to pick you up?” 

Enigma giggles and falls back down in the crib and Rosa smiles softly before lifting her up into her arms. 

”You’re a very cute baby, you know that?” Rosa remakes and the baby coos in response. Rosa has never wanted kids, never wanted anything to do with them, especially after being tied up while babysitting Terry’s kids with Gina. Kids were crazy, but maybe raising one with Gina wouldn’t be so bad. 

And then Rosa mentally kicks herself, because Enigma is not her child, she is Gina and Milton Boyle’s. The only thing that she will ever be to the baby is a friend of her mother’s. 

”Dinner’s ready!” Gina calls and Rosa walks back into the kitchen with Enigma, who squeals and claps her hands when she sees Gina. Gina beams and Rosa’s never seen her look this happy. 

”Hey, baby,” Gina says to Enigma and it warms Rosa’s heart when they all sit down at the table together, like the perfect family. 

Three episodes of Gilmore Girls and four glasses of wine later, Rosa is so close to passing out on Gina’s couch.

”You can stay here tonight,” Gina mumbles and this almost completely sobers Rosa up. 

“You have a guest bedroom?” She had no idea that Jake’s old apartment was this big. Gina shakes her head. “I’ll sleep on the couch then.” 

”You can sleep in my bed. I think I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself,” Gina jokes, but it falls short to Rosa, who is not sure that she can keep her hands to herself. 

”No, it’s really fine, I’m cool with the couch. Anything is better than the cot in prison.” 

Gina rolls her eyes, rolls off the couch, and tries to pull Rosa off too. “Come on, just come with me,” she whines and Rosa finally gives in and follows Gina to the bedroom. 

Rosa doesn’t even notice anything in the room, she just flops face first onto the mattress and immediately falls asleep. 

Four hours later, she wakes up with a whimper. She still has nightmares about prison, about getting beaten up for being a cop. 

”Hey, you okay?” Gina whispers, stirring slightly to look at her. Rosa is soaked in a cold sweat and she’s trembling, but she nods at Gina, who sits up beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, stroking a hand through Rosa’s hair. Rosa automatically leans into the touch. 

”I was so scared, Gina,” Rosa says, her voice cracking. “I tried to fight back, but there were too many of them. They all hated me. I thought I was going to die, I thought I was never going to get to see any of you ever again. You guys are my family and I tried to have hope, but when my entire back and stomach were covered in bruises and cuts, when I was bleeding internally from a punctured lung, when it hurt to breathe because of the broken ribs, it was so hard to see an end to it. I almost gave up so many times.” This is the most she’s said about prison to anyone. Gina’s always had a way of getting through Rosa’s walls and Rosa hates being so vulnerable, but maybe she doesn’t mind talking to Gina about this so much. 

”Rosa, I can’t even imagine how awful that must’ve been,” Gina says in a hushed voice. Rosa smiles shakily at her and doesn’t mention how the thought of Gina was pretty much the only thing that got her through it all.

And then Gina’s wrapping her arms around Rosa, and Rosa finally feels safe, finally feels like she can let her guard down. 

They fall back asleep like that, with Gina holding Rosa tightly. 

And Rosa doesn’t have another nightmare the rest of the night. 


	3. A hot ass couple

The squad's out at Shaw's Bar when Gina suddenly walks in. She plops down at Rosa's table, snatches the beer bottle from her, and downs it in one swig. Rosa raises an eyebrow. Gina had told her that she and Milton were going out to dinner tonight and would be unable to make it out with them, and she also had wanted to "hang out with people that she actually liked". 

"You good?" Rosa asks when Gina motions for another drink. Gina drops her head into her arms and groans loudly. Luckily, there's no one else sitting near them.

"Milton and I broke up," Gina says, and Rosa hates that she feels a rush of relief run through her. Her friend is probably heartbroken right now. 

"I'm sorry, are you okay?"

Gina laughs and shakes her head. "I was the one that broke it off with him. Something just didn't feel right about marrying him, like I don't think he was the one, you know? It just sucks for Enigma because now she's going to grow up without a dad." Rosa's heart softens. She was close with her father, but she knows how hard it was for Jake when his dad left. 

"Well, she's still got one super badass mom," Rosa replies, raising her beer bottle and Gina clinks it with hers. 

"Damn right she does," Gina agrees and takes a sip. Rosa watches her, feeling warm. 

"And I'm always here if you need help with the baby," Rosa adds before she can stop herself. She sees surprise flash in Gina's eyes before it's covered up by gratitude. "I mean, we took care of Terry's kids that one night, how hard can Enigma be?" 

Gina smirks. "You have a point. You wanna come see her?" 

"What, like right now?" She waves to the rest of the squad who's still at the bar. Amy and Holt are playing trivia, Terry, Jake, and Charles are playing pool, and Hitchcock and Scully are seeing who can eat more chicken tenders in ten minutes. Gina rolls her eyes. 

"Please, you think they'll even notice that we're gone?" Gina says and Rosa shrugs. 

"Okay then. Let's go see your baby," Rosa concedes. She says a quick goodbye to Jake just so the squad knows she didn't get kidnapped, and then Gina's driving them back to the apartment, the apartment that's starting to feel like home to Rosa. 

"Hey, Enigma," Gina greets and Rosa hears the baby squeal in reply. 

"I keep forgetting to bring her a toy," Rosa says and Gina makes a face. 

"Don't worry about it. When she was born, the entire Boyle family gave me at least five toys each so she's pretty much set for life. And Milton said that he'd still send stuff over for her. You don't have to get her anything." 

But Milton is still getting her things. So therefore, Rosa will get her something. She can be just as good, if not better, than Gina's ex lover. 

"So, what do you want to do? You got any new gossip in your life that you just can't wait to tell me?" Gina asks enthusiastically. Rosa shoots her a look, but there is one thing that she wants to get off her chest. 

"Yeah, actually." Gina motions for her to keep going. Rosa takes a deep breath. "I'm bisexual." 

Gina doesn't even hesitate before throwing her arms around Rosa. "Oh, sweetie, that's awesome," she murmurs in her ear and Rosa shivers at the feeling of her hot breath on her skin. She's been wanting to tell someone so bad and it feels so good to finally say it. Now all that's left is to tell Gina how she feels about her. But she'll save that for another night. 

***

Her parents are not accepting of her, and it cuts deeply, so she's in her apartment, trying to drown her pain in alcohol when there's a knock on her door. She clambers off the couch and opens it. It's the entire squad. 

"Family game night!" Jake exclaims, holding up a bag full of board games. He pushes past Rosa and she steps to the side to let everyone else in. They give her hugs one by one, but the only one she truly feels comfortable with is Gina. 

Everyone heads to the living room to set up the games and it's just her and Gina, who's looking so adorable in her hat and coat. She always looks beautiful, Rosa doesn't know why she's even surprised anymore. 

"You know, in another lifetime, you and I would've made a hot ass couple," Gina remarks and Rosa's heart stops. 

"Agreed," she replies and hates herself the moment she says it. Gina just smirks and walks past her, gently nudging her arm, and then Holt comes over to tell her how proud he is of her. But all that Rosa can think about right now is how she let the opportunity of her life just slip through her fingers. 

Game night is the most fun Rosa's had in years. She takes down everyone in Twister, even Gina, who claims to have let her win. They then team up together to play Trouble but are somehow tied with Jake and Amy, who are just as competitive as they are. 

"And I'm moving my pawn there, which means that you go there," Jake says gleefully when he lands on the space that Rosa's pawn already occupies and he moves Rosa's piece back to home. Rosa glares at him but it only seems to make Jake more smug. 

"Do that again and I'll slit your throat," Rosa threatens and she feels Gina chuckle next to her. 

"Damn, Rosa!" Terry says. "It's just a game!" 

"Oh, it's just a game, huh, Terrance? Would you tell Serena Williams that Wimbledon is 'just a game'? Would you tell Rihanna that it's 'just a concert'?" Gina drawls mockingly and Rosa smirks at Terry's confused face. "Would you say that Beyonce is 'just a singer'?"

"I am really not sure how this relates to anything," Holt says. "But on the other hand, I have just rolled a four. Which means, Diaz and Gina? Another one of your pawns just got knocked back home. Looks like you're in _trouble."_ Jake gasps at the pun and high fives Holt. 

"Great, now we're losing to Jake and Amy and Holt and Terry," Rosa mutters angrily. Gina slams her hand on the bubble in the middle of the board and rolls a six, first try. Rosa laughs in Jake's face when she moves her pawn from home and places it right on Jake's piece, sending him back to his home. Amy groans; now everyone has only three game pieces on the board except for Charles. 

Charles rolls the dice and pumps his fist when he gets his first pawn into the safe spot. He and Genevieve are on a team together, and they're not doing so well. They're also not very competitive which doesn't fit in well with the other three teams who are practically at each other's throats. 

"Hot damn!" Holt yells when he lands on another one of Jake and Amy's pieces, knocking them back down to third and Rosa's never seen Amy this furious at anyone, let alone her captain whom she loves very much. 

"You sick son of a bitch," Jake hisses. 

"How does being betrayed feel, Jake and Amy?" Gina taunts and Jake has to hold Amy back from launching herself at Gina. Rosa laughs. This must be what family feels like. 

The game ends when Holt almost flips the table over because of Jake and Amy and Rosa and Gina teaming up to make him lose. They call it a tie among themselves and Holt storms off to make an irritated call to Kevin. Rosa smiles to herself as she picks up the glasses and plates from everyone and carries them into the kitchen to place in the sink. 

"So that was fun," Gina says from behind her. Rosa turns around and nods. 

"Thank you for doing this. Oh, by the way, I finally got Enigma something," Rosa replies and pulls out a small, wolf stuffed animal. Gina beams and takes it from her. "Wolves are her mother's spirit animal after all." 

"This is perfect, Rosa. I'm sure she'll love it. Thank you." And then there's something about the way that Gina's looking at her that makes Rosa feel like maybe there's a chance that Gina feels the same way, and maybe Rosa's had too much to drink, but she feels like this is the right time to say something. 

"What about this lifetime?" she blurts out before Gina can leave. 

"What?" 

Rosa's heart is racing and she wipes her hands on her pants. "You said earlier that in another lifetime we would've made a hot ass couple. What's wrong with this lifetime?"

When Gina steps forward, Rosa's sure she's going to see pity in her eyes. She's definitely not expecting to see lust. She's about to ask what's going on when Gina puts a hand on her cheek and kisses her. 


End file.
